maladroit4u

You Have to Have Kids!

2013-09-30

There is an odd phenomenon that occurs when you tell people that you don't plan on having children. They set off on this expedition to discover why you don't want to reproduce and then begin the mission of changing your mind.

"What?! You don't want kids? Why?!"

I won't go into our reasoning behind this choice, but that's always the first response we get if we tell someone about our decision. It seems so unbelievable that we don't want children. After the dust clears from that detonation, the pro-offspring person I'm talking to launches into another, even more perplexing conversation: "you really should have children".

They come up with a myriad of reasons: * Life is boring without kids! * Don't you want grandchildren? * You don't know love until you have had a child. * "I could never stand just hanging out with my husband/wife all the time!"

And many more. I always wonder to myself if this is an extension of the hormonal drive to reproduce? Do we have instincts that, once we know we will have children or already have them, make us try to convince others to create progeny? Is it a subconscious threat to a human to be associated with people that don't want to ensure our species' continuation? I can't help but think this might be true, since their arguments hold little logical weight.

In the past, I would get frustrated with these debates on why I should have kids. Now, it just seems like an interesting field experiment: why are people so obsessed with everyone having children?

Another funny observation is the "when the kids move out" mindset. So many people are quick to expound the treasures and joy that come with parenthood, but then mention that awesome idea for little Charlie's room that they can act on when he moves out of the house. They want to have this child, but then spend his childhood looking forward to him leaving. If you are so excited about your kid moving out, why did you have one at all?